The Month in News

At religious universities, debates arise over faith and academic freedom. Students troubled by new reading curriculum: "A Crucifix of One's Own," "Dear God, It's Me, Pat Robertson" and "Things Fall Apart (for Mormons, Jews, Catholics and Muslims)."

Elite Iraqi unit seeks footing as it fills U.S. boots. Dr. Scholls catches red-eye to Baghdad to provide orthopedic assistance.

Used syringes seized in Austrian ski raid. Junky athletes too messed up to find situation anything but funny.

Cheney shoots fellow hunter in mishap on Texas ranch. Before accident, Cheney quoted as saying, "Be vewwy vewwy quiet, I'm hunting Democwats."

No Child Left Behind program is going unused. Government addresses problem with No Federal Education Program Left Behind program.

As opera audiences shrink, the Met gets daring. For horned-helmet roles, company imports real Vikings from 8th Century Norway.

Former Connecticut governor leaves prison. Film about his emotional journey to self-discovery, "Picking Up My Political Soap (that I dropped in the prison shower)," will premiere this Sunday on the Lifetime Network.

Oil giants fall behind on fees. Although fi's and fo's surpass prestigious industry standards, level of fum's is also abominable.

95 pounds heavier, angry son faces mother who starved him. Son taunts hand-cuffed mother by slowly eating father.

Warning urged on stimulants like Ritalin. One ardent junky defends drug as "the only thing good in my life. Don't take it away, FDA. Don't take it away or I will lose my attention span and never finish this senten...."

Auditors find huge fraud in storm aid. FEMA's accounting records declared a natural disaster.

High School graduation rate fell in 2005. Vitamin C makes comeback with bittersweet single, the "Unemployed Cocaine-Addict Dropout Song."

Experts sound alarm as bird flu spreads. However, local parakeet learns to imitate alarm, and baffles experts.

Wind and snow strike 14 states: record accumulation in NYC. Local drug addict mistakes powdered streets for afterlife.

Kansas court blocks abortion records access. The censored LPs include: Red Hot Chili Preggers, Wu Tang Coathanger, Blink-182-days-since-my-last-cycle and Destiny's Fetus.

Exxon Mobil sets profit record with $36 billion. It also set slaughtered wildlife record with as many licks as it takes to get to center of a tootsie pop. R.I.P. Mr. Owl.

New polls find mixed support for wiretaps. However, argument complicated by fact that analysis obtained through wiretapping.

Climate expert says NASA tried to silence him. Valerie Plame laughs at irony.

Microsoft plans to put the poor online through cell phone. For more information, please log on to www.ialsocan'taffordacellphonejackass.net.

College students look online to find out-of-print books. Publishing industry sues sophomore for illegal downloading of environmental science text.

James Frey kicked out of Oprah Bookclub for lying in memoirs. Exclusive interview with beleaguered Frey coming soon on "The Oprah Winfrey Show."

Federer wins second Australian Open. In celebration, he decides to add another "er" to end of name.