2nd Law

a blog by collegiates from around the purple nation (though mostly living in NYC) in the midst of transitioning to the real world

Friday, June 09, 2006

Coulter writes review for own book

Poor Coulter. Where does she hide when the The Daily News calls her cruel on their Wednesday front page and hopelessly misrepresents her earnest attack on the liberalism that has creeped into every throbbing oriface of our once virginal values? On her website, of course. ‘Hey you, browsing Godless’—buy the book or get out!’ titles the review she wrote for her own book, in a pre-emptive defensive move against The New York Times reviewer who, she predicts, will "only talk about the Ann Coulter action-figure doll." It’s the sort of merry invitation that makes you wonder how her prose could possibly leave the nasty taste of stale polemics in the mouths of her critics.

Though reviews sometimes scrutinize the works in question, Coulter discards this useless formula and goes straight for those scrawny liberal throats. And not a moment too soon. Liberalism, "our official state religion" (out with Church bake sales, in with abortions), has the troubled habit of teaching children to masturbate about how we descended from earth worms. Everyone knows masturbation causes cancer and that we descended from Charlton Heston’s ample loins.

In case her readers missed the point the first time, she concludes her book review with a logical breakdown of those silly evolutionist theories: "it would take less time for (1) a single-celled organism to evolve into a human being through mutation and natural selection than for (2) Darwinists to admit they have no proof of (1)." Yeah! Why won’t those monkey fuckers admit they’ve got no proof whatsoever? None!